“Treating fellow believers like family” is often mentioned in Christian communities, but figuring out how to do that can feel rather hazy. It's easy to say that we should care for each other, “bear one another's burdens," and "be hospitable” (Galatians 6:2; Romans 12:13). But without clear guidance, our attempts to embody these exhortations can fall flat, leading to awkward situations or unmet expectations.

The Apostle Paul, a believer who intimately knew God's family and had no shortage of experience within the early Christian communities, provides helpful guidance for embodying this ideal. Let’s draw from his instruction in Romans 12 and 14 to unpack how we can aim to actually treat other believers like family.

Embrace God's Grace and Clothe Ourselves in Humility (Romans 12:3, 6-8)

God has given us all unique roles and gifts to play within His family, and we should submit ourselves to those designations with humility (verse 3; cf. 1 Corinthians 12:12–27). Humility in this context means having a realistic, non-arrogant view of ourselves. We are not more or less deserving of salvation based on our gifting or natural abilities (cf. 1 Corinthians 1:26–31).

We might not naturally expect a left shin to boast against its right counterpart (verse 4). But, in this way, Paul underscores the folly of boasting in our gifts or position over others in the body. In God's family, we should be most impressed with His work in others, not most impressed with our own prowess. Embracing God's grace for each person and viewing ourselves with proper humility helps build the kind of harmonious relationships that typify a loving family.

Regarding specific conflict resolution or sensitive issue navigating, Paul urges us in verses 6-8 to excel in love-based character traits over fleeting adornment and to use our gifts for God's praise, rather than personal aggrandizement. Such character traits include hospitality, showing dutiful affection, showing honor, and zealous pursuit of what is good. These qualities become the clothes of love-motivated humility on our otherwise-exposed souls, further grounding the ideal of Christ-like love in the hearts of those who walk according to the Spirit (verse 2).

Resolve Disputes Biblically, Without Judging or Condemning (Romans 14:1-13)

Paul goes on to address more practical matters: what to do when believers still disagree about issues. We won’t always agree on certain non-essential convictions of faith. In the same chapter in which he urges love, thanksgiving, and unity among believers (Romans 12:9-13), Paul acknowledges that this isn’t always an easy matter.

He introduces a situation in which a weaker brother may scruple on a non-essential matter, possibly a dietary or Sabbath issue (similar to controversies in the early church). The stronger brother, who understands his freedom in Christ concerning these issues, may mistakenly judge or look down on this weaker brother. Paul insists that we should not pass judgment on those whose convictions differ from our own but, instead, pursue unity by honoring theconscience of our weaker brother. We can’t treat people like family unless we also get this practice right.

It’s tempting to think we have the "right" or "best" view on non-essential matters. But the essence of the gospel and core truths, which Paul has established in the preceding chapters of Romans, don’t seem to be the topic of dispute here. So Paul is not averse to deep convictions. Instead, he cautions against making a non-essential matter divisive. As members of a spiritual family, we must hold even the most well-reasoned positions with humility and tenderness, knowing that we, too, may stand in the weaker brother's place at another time, considering a different matter.

Insofar as God calls us to make decisions as independent adults and to grow in spiritual maturity, the Lord also expects us to enter into the fragile work of persuasion, rather than condemnation. We should share our wisdom in love when appropriate, but only "if" and "when" appropriate, not in an effort to dominate, belittle, or intimidate.

Embrace One Another as Fellow Heirs of God's Grace (Romans 8:15-17; 12:5)

In Romans 8:15-17, Paul invites readers to identify as adopted children of God, complete with the full rights of an heir, a truth he reiterates in Romans 8:16-17 using the word siblings. This shared family membership as God's heirs is crucial to Paul’s encouragement for living out this ideal in Christian community: believers are not just fellow sojourners in this life; they are family.

Paul encourages spiritual unity in Romans 12:5 by connecting mutual love in community with the analogy of the body, in which everyone has an essential part to play. Each cell in a family has its unique function, and their interdependence holds the body together.

When we begin to see ourselves and others as members of a spiritual body, with individualized but necessary contributions, we are better able to treat one another with respect, even in the midst of disagreement. This perspective calls us to resist the drive to dominate or exclude, for these behaviors undermine the very unity that we, as Christ-folowers, have been called to foster.

Conclusion

A literal, bloodline-based reading of "treating fellow believers as family" may be unusual, as we can't necessarily choose or adopt them legally in the earthly sense. But the underlying metaphorical intent of this exhortation is crystal clear. With the example of God's care for His children, both biologically and through the gospel, Paul models the behavior that Christ-followers should seek to emulate for each other. This means that we will carefully and humbly submit to our allotted roles in His family, practice unity and tenderness in the face of disagreement, and rejoice in the family ties inherent in our shared faith and adoption by God through Christ. As we live out this mandate, we can slowly begin to practice the love, care, and affection that should typify our relationships within the family of God.

Resource - Institution - The Bible Project Written by - Holly Pivot, M.Div Edited & Formatted by - Daniel Pen/Andrew Leonard

Photo Credit - Marty Albertson on Unsplash.com (downloadable images freely used for editorial purposes)